Big scary move

I’m making a big scary move over to my own domain, blogging from www.iamfancypants.com – if for some reason you lose me, please follow me there! Thanks!

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Holy Cannoli

My latest reality TV obsession: VH1′s Mob Wives. It’s like Real Housewives took a hit out on Long Island Psychic. 6 Staten Island women whose husbands or fathers have been incarcerated for crimes connected to the Mafia bring you into their lives. Although apparently violating a Mafia Code by appearing on TV, these gals don’t seem to be holding back one bit, in the fascinating expose of some of the weirdest, most scary women I have ever witnessed. Witness? No! What? I’m not a rat! Not me!!

My favorite character? Big Ang, Angela Raiola. A convicted Cocaine dealer, she’s the niece of Salvatore “Sally Dogs” Lombardi, a deceased captain of the Genovese crime family. Known as a “mob moll” she lives by the lifestyle code, through and through. But the reason I love her: She looks like a Sicilian prehistoric fish on steroids with the biggest gazoongas I have ever seen on any “human” being. She has the vocal tone of the Godfather, and when she laughs on camera, it chills me to the bone.

I mean, I seriously believe that these women could kill someone, and do regularly in between sushi and a good girls nights out.

I just love, love, love how the scenes are broken up with “P.I.” style photos as if they’re being followed. Which they probably are.

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Sticky situation

I just love this, and one day I’m going to turn it into an ad campaign. Don’t steal that idea, ok, beautiful?

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Rant: Bad Greens

So, Mad Greens is a “healthy” quick serve restaurant here in Colorado that specializes in salads. They tout themselves as hand crafted, with premium, fresh ingredients using a tagline of “inspired eats”. However, taking my kids there one weekend, I was way less than inspired by this:

Yes, that really is Mac and Cheese from the box. Just sad that the luminous bright yellow color didn’t really come through in the photos. But I think the badly mixed lumps of cheese powder did, right? Come on – you’re parading as a healthy restaurant but you’re prepared to serve my kids Kraft Mac n’ Cheese from the box? And for $4.25 at that? Simply disgusting. Stand up to your brand values and do something organic, or dare we say, fresh. Or don’t serve it at all! I asked the staff at two different stores, and they both admitted that it’s Kraft out of the box and agreed that it’s horrible and that Mad Greens needs to change this. I’ve tweeted Mad Greens about it, and left a message on their Facebook wall, and they’ve never responded. The solution? I just won’t go back? What a pity.

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I’m busting my ass too, dude.

I recently re-joined the 24 hour fitness in an attempt to fulfill my resolution of saving money this year. I go to the gym 3 x per week and this particular location, although I’ll never shower or use the restroom there, has pretty much everything I need. Also, being about 4 minutes from my house really helps at 6:30am.

But here’s the thing: this is a 24 hour Fitness Sport. A Lance Armstrong Sport. And over the last few years, I’ve developed mixed feelings about the said Mr. Armstrong. Now I know that federal investigators closed their case against him without bringing any charges. But I’m not convinced. And even if innocent, the investigation, and the claims against him have led to enough doubt. So it’s difficult to be inspired, early on a snowy morning, when I look up at this:

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Skate park

Sometimes it doesn’t hurt to let your kids eat dinner on a skateboard under some chairs.

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Cough, cough

My 4 year old is taught at school to cough into his elbow. But have you ever noticed how many adults cough into their hands? As I write this, a man is sitting next to me who has been coughing into his hand. He just stood up and placed that same hand onto the tabletop, and now some unsuspecting person is going to place their coffee on said tabletop. Thanks for the caffeine and the germs, yuck!

I have been racking my brains as to how we re-educate adults? It’s like we have been mis-taught basic germs 101. The CDC (Center for Disease Control) has some really ugly flyers that one can print. But seriously, am I going to hand a leaflet to some man sitting next to me at a coffee shop? How do you avoid being smacked when trying to remind people of a really basic health need? Why do people not realize that when they cough into their hands, they effectively spread their germs EVERYWHERE! The Mayo clinic states that germs can stay alive for minutes or up to 48 hours, depending on the surface they’re spread on. Which means that you could get infected with this man’s germs several hours after you sit at the table next to me!

I found this catchy ditty on the internet to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat:

Cover, cover, cover your cough
Cough into your elbow.
Cough and sneeze, and sneeze and cough.
Germs don’t spread around. HEY!

But I’m sure my nearby gentleman wouldn’t appreciate the tunes. Perhaps a short rap? “You’re getting your germs all over my perm.” Clearly not my best talent!

How about a Facebook campaign. A catchy viral video (pardon the pun). A street corner protest. Anyone out there got a great idea for a Cough into your Elbow you germ spreading cretin campaign? In the meantime, I think I’ll redesign those CDC posters into a cute moo.com business card and take it from there. Cough, cough.

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